CALL ME B O N E S

I just stumbled upon this old song while I was YouTube surfing for songs to sing-a-long to. I loved this song when I was little, still do, in fact. Sounded beautiful when I was child, but now it's also the lyrics that really get me.

Man, it's only the second full week after school has ended, but it feels like it's been forever. I've got a 9 to 5 class twice a week, including night classes, and more classes that haven't started yet. Shoot me now. The 9 to 5 seems like a job; I leave before my dad does, and I get home when he does.

So. School's ended but I still feel like shit. Still feeling anxious, like I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning and it'll be school again. My general emotional half has just been in the dumps for the past...7 months lol. Not even. It's been crap before this past school year even started. It's not even depression or being a mopey bitch, as my brother puts it. It's just literally like a boil festering on the inside. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Haven't spoken to a really close friend in about...2 weeks? He spent weeks talking non-stop about the girl he likes, asking me for advice and just talking about her to get the weight off. I told him to confess and tell her that he likes her (since he says he likes her a lot.) He refuses to, but still talks about her non-stop. I'm cool with that, but, hey, I'm a girl, I can't spend all my time hearing about other girls, you know? I'm glad I can help you with this, but is that it? Really? And then BAM! out of nowhere he confessed to her, because she kept nagging & prodding at him to coax the confession out of him. Girl, if you want it, say it yourself. I hate it when girls always want the guys to make the first move. Especially nowadays. Yeah, I'm one of those who think that "if women want to be treated equally, we gotta contribute equally." I agree with both sides, but hey, I've gotta say, some girls are expecting too much. (Though, in all honesty, I am an absolute sucker for romance and chivalry.) OK, I've gone on a tangent, so I'll finish the actual point of the paragraph first. So after he confesses, yada yada yada, and now he's got a girlfriend. That is absolutely awesome, she better treat him right or I'm going to rip her face off, but now he's completely ignored me because of her. I'm kinda thinking, uh oh, what if he's the type to get completely absorbed in a relationship and forgets about everything in his life? He already told me before that he liked her so much and thought about her so much that he couldn't do his work or think; there just wasn't any motivation. And the thing is, I completely understand where he's coming from. I was like that once. I couldn't see anything past the relationship, got so absorbed that I lost all focus and common sense that I nearly killed my grades for the year (which I got my report card in the mail yesterday but I haven't opened it so PLEASE be good grades). So, I ended up scaring the guy off and then I managed to surface from the murky depths of love hell and I'm putting everything back together.

Haha, that was funny to reread. All in all, now I'm being ignored. I've always believed chicks over dicks, or, to put it less crudely, friends over romance. Though I have few friends, and little to no romance, this creed has rarely come into play in my life, so I can't preach it to others. Well, I'm still around if he need me, but I guess I'll need to start looking for a new best friend.